FIELD NOTES // 013 - The Weight Of Starting

CHLKDUP didn’t start clean.

It wasn’t polished.

It wasn’t planned.

It started in 2019 with a handful of crooked shirts I printed for me and my crew.

The sayings were too long.

The ink didn’t line up.

The logos leaned where they shouldn’t.

But people still wanted one.

Not because the shirts were perfect.

But because they carried something more than fabric and ink.

–––

I didn’t own a gym.

I didn’t have a built-in community.

So I built one.

CHLKDUP Box League.

Four weeks of competition.

Seven teams in the first season.

Thirty-two at its peak.

I’ll never forget that first week.

Watching a crew of athletes walk in—

and realizing, damn… they’re really here. We’re really doing this.

Every week we lined up for a photo.

Sweaty. Tired. Shoulder to shoulder.

Those photos still matter more to me than any sales number.

Because belief is rare.

And those people believed before I did.

–––

But starting was heavy.

When comps didn’t fill, I carried it.

When a design fell flat, I carried it.

When doubt whispered I didn’t belong, I carried it.

I wasn’t trained in design.

I wasn’t schooled in business.

I was just figuring it out, step by step.

And doubt never really left.

It still hasn’t.

–––

But here’s the thing about weight:

you either lift it,

or you let it crush you.

I lifted it.

Not clean.

Not flawless.

But I showed up.

I showed up for CHLKDUP when no one clapped.

–––

CHLKDUP wasn’t given.

It was built.

And the weight of starting made it real.